Thank God for the WORD!

Well, the last time I was on here I wrote that I wanted God to speak to my heart.  The situation I am faced with seems impossible, but with God all things are possible.  God does not lie, whatever he says can be taken to heart.  So every since I said I needed God to speak to my heart He has been doing just that.  It has happened in many ways.  God keeps speaking to me telling me that everything is going to be all right.  It also seems that every church service I attend I hear the same message, have faith in God, He's working things out for you.  So I've just got to hold on to that. 

Today at church our Bishop preached about how we lost our church almost two years ago to arson.  I still remember that horrible feeling of being told our church was burning to the ground, but God has done so much for us since that terrible day.  We didn't understand it at the time, but God has allowed us to meet some awesome people and to really be blessed as a result of the fire.  If God turned something so horrible into something so wonderful, with opportunities which we would have never had if it hadn't been for the fire, then I know he can turn my bad situation around.

Ok, enough about that.  I haven't been up to much else lately.  This week I'm heading to the west coast for a couple of courses for my job and I am excited about that.  It will get me out of my routine and on Tuesday at least I'll be able to sleep for a bit.  God knows just what we need and when we need it. So I am thankful for the trip coming up.  I just gave my mom a copy of my itinerary, it will be a busy trip, but nevertheless a time for me to break routine.  Sometimes a break in routine is so necessary, especially with everything going on here.  I was thinking that I will take some time in my hotel room to pray, I mean really pray. 

I will also take some time on the plane and in the evenings to catch up on some reading.  Right now I am reading "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave.  It is good so far.  I have slowed down quite a bit with my reading since I have been busy settling in to my new job as well as doing all of the wedding planning and keeping up with a busy church life!  I wanted to read more books this year than I did last year (I keep a book journal) and the way things are looking right now, I'm not sure it's going to happen.  Anyway, I think I am going to wrap this entry up.  The bottom line is, God is good, he's working things out and I love him!  Good night all!

I'm back...

Wow, didnt have much time for writing going to church every night.  Nevertheless I had a good time each night and was glad God gave me the opportunity to attend.  I was able to enjoy our national leader on Friday night.  It seemed he was speaking directly to my situation in terms of my finances.  Actually, the whole week I heard messages that seemed to be aimed at my financial situation, nevertheless it hasn't changed yet.  I really thought it would happen last week.  I know that we can't put a timer on God.  He does things in his own time, but Ijust kept feeling that I was supposed to have my breakthrough last week.  Perhaps it's held up?  I don't know what the situation is, but I would prefer it if it would work out now.

Other than my finances, things are going well.  I have my health and strength, a source of income, a wonderful fiancee,and a tremendous anointing on my life.  From the outside things probably look perfect, but yet I feel like I have a thorn in my flesh.  So many things are needed and I can'tdo do anything about them.  God must intervene! 

In other news I got my body magic on Saturday.  We went to visit our good friends who live in Connecticut.  The wife sells body magic and gave me a discount since my bridal party is also ordering from her.  It really makes a huge difference!  I wore it to church on Sunday and it definitely made my clothes look different.  I also wore it to work today.  I like the difference and it wasn't too much of a pain getting into and out of the garment in order to use the bathroom.  I don't think of it as a weight loss product although that's what it is toted as.  I think of it as a girdle, simply something to make my clothes fit more nicely.  I'm glad I got it.  I got it because of my wedding dress only to find out that my dress has so much sheer material on the back, I cannot wear my body magic under it.  :(  My dress looks fine without it though.  I'm very pleased with it. I just need to find a place to get it pressed.

Well, I think that's pretty much all I have to say tonight.  Nothing much is new in my life.  My brother is over filling out job applications.  It's a shame that both of us have advanced degrees (M.S. for him and Ph.D. for me) and yet we are both extremely broke.  It's so disappointing to put in all of that work and then struggle like I'm struggling.  Feels like it wasn't worth it at all.  I heard so many times that it would pay off, is it paying off?  Doesn't feel like it AT ALL! 

Ok, that was a whole lot of complaining and I really shouldn't because God has been wonderful for me.  No, I don't have all of the things I want, and I feel like there are some things that I need that have not been taken care of yet, but I shouldn't complain.  There are people in far worse situations than what I'm facing.  I'm grateful to God that things are not worse.  At least, if nothing else, I have a roof over my head.  As the song says, "it could have been me, outdoors, with no food or no clothes.  or all alone, without a friend, or just among the number with a tragic end, but Lord you didn't see fit, to let any of these things be.  Everyday by your power, you keep on, keep on keeping me.  So  I wanna say THANK YOU LORD for alllllll you've done for me!  I think that's all I want to say tonight.  Good night!

P.S. IF there are any prophets/prophetesses among my readers, I would love to hear a word fom the Lord.  Speak to my heart.  I need a word!

Missed A Few Days

Got really busy and missed a few days, but I am determined to keep this going.  It was pretty difficult last week with vacation bible school.  The weekend went by really quickly too.  On Saturday I was invited to a bridal shower for a friend of mine.  My best friend and I went together and the shower ran 2 1/2 hours late.  We ended up leaving early without eating because my best friend had to get back to her baby who was with her mom.  It was actually a pretty hectic day that day.  I was attempting to do some cleaning and ended up really exhausted.  After leaving the shower my best friend came over to see me in my wedding dress.  I was so glad she liked it (yes I value her opinion very much!).  Looks like God is working things out in his own time.  Can't hurry God, just have to wait....I'm remembering that old song.  Means a lot to me right about now.

Sunday was another busy church day.  We were in service for a really long time Sunday Morning.  Our Bishop preached and it was communion Sunday so things ran really late.  By the time I got home (had to drop some people off and also ran into an old friend -an odd story that deserves its own blog) it was after 3:00 and our choir was scheduled to sing at another service at 4:00pm.  There's a member of our church who plays the piano for another church.  She was being given an appreication service at that church.  Actually, they give her an appreciation every year.  So I didn't even have a chance to eat before rushing over to that service.  By the time I got home that evening I was exhausted.  Then my mom was over my cousin's house and needed a ride home at 10:00 at night.  I feel like I can never just get rest on the weekend....starting to feel like a crazy lady, but thank God for the strength to make it through!

So now I've started this crazy process all over again.  This week is our annual state convocation of the Church of God in Christ.  It's a glorious week of services, singing, praising, and hearing God's word.  Last night we kicked it off with an AWESOME musical which my cousin did an EXCELLENT job of putting together.  I'm so proud of him.  :)  Everyday this week I will be heading to service after church.  It's going to be another tough week in terms of me being tired, but I know it will be worth it.  Saturday I will be heading to CT to visit a close friend of mine.  I think I'll be tired again and really won't be getting any rest for a while.  Pray for me yall!  I really need it!

I guess I'd better sign off for now.  I'm writing this from work during my lunch break and my break is over!  Talk to you all soon!

Prayer

Dear God,

I truly thank you for another day.  Thank you for waking me up this morning.  Thank you for another opportunity to enter your house of worship.  Lord, I just want to thank you because all that's good and perfect comes from you.  You are an awesome God.  You are holy and righteous.  You are a wonderful saviour and I'm so happy just to know you.  Just to know that I am not without hope is a wonderful thing.  Just to know that you care for me and are working things out for my good is awesome.  I know that I'm not perfect and I mess up often.  However, you are so merciful to me.  I know that what really matters is not all of the stuff that I am concerning myself with.  What's most important is my soul.  Even though I know this I am constantly thinking about my situation.  I try to take my mind off of it, but there's always something that happens to bring it to mind.  I feel like I'm on a sinking ship and there's nothing I can do about it.  I guess I'm actually right in that.  I CAN'T do anything about my situation.  I'm at a point where I know there's nothing humanly possible that can be done to turn things around.

So God, here I am.  I am your child.  I have committed my life to you.  I have said, I believe in God.  I believe that Jesus is the son of God.  I believe that there's power in the word of God.  I believe that all God has to do is speak into my situation and it will be forever changed.  So here I am oh God.  I'm coming to you in the name of Jesus.  Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.  You promised in your word to supply all of my needs according to your riches in glory.  Lord, you promised that you would never leave or forsake me.  You promised that if  called upon you in the day of trouble, you would deliver me so that I can give you glory.  Here I am Lord.  I'm at the end of my rope.  There's nothing else that can be done unless you do.  There's no change coming unless you do it.  Please hear my cry Lord.  Help me Oh God!  Please Lord Jesus.  Come quickly, Lord God!  Make yourself known in my situation.  Show yourself strong oh God.  I need you now Lord God.  I need you now.  I need a change.  Not just in my situation, ,but also the situations of people around me.  Look on that co-worker who needs some fixes in her home, look on those financial situations that need to be turned around, bless that one in the hospital that needs to be healed.  Help Help Help!  Lord you're able.  Lord you're able.  I'm just waiting on you to move.

You know what I'm feeling God.  You know the situation I am facing.  I believe that by this time tomorrow a change will have come.  Oh Hallelujah.  I feel your presence even as I type this Lord.  I believe that you have so something so grand for me.  I won't be able to believe what you're doing.  I hear you saying don't worry, I'm working it out for your good.  You know all about me.  You know where I'm hurting.  You know what my fears are Lord.  I just want you to move on my behalf.  I'm ready for my change Lord.  I'm ready to walk into your promises.  I'm ready to hear your voice again.  Please Lord!!!  I love you, and I praise you.  I give you all of the glory and all of the honor.  I thank you for being there for me.  I thank you for what you're going to give me.  You're an awesome God.  I love you Lord!